April
Courtney Blue
April feels like a deathbed
And graduation like a funeral
Not a sad one though
One at the end of a long and happy life
A celebration of a thousand embraces
and laughing fits
and tarot readings where I told you
"The cards say you should break up with your boyfriend"
Nights when we laid in your bed and you played your guitar for me
The grief is still there, though
I get choked up whenever I think about you
Just four more weeks where I only have to walk a few doors down,
barefoot in my pajamas, to see you
I wish I had hugged you tighter and more often
I made a deal with the devil to have such a blessed season of my life
Mourning the ending is the consequence, the curse
Courtney is a Utah-raised, Brooklyn-based writer and art historian. She explores topics of queerness, womanhood, spirituality, and coming of age in her expanding practice of poetry and fiction writing.
